


6 Months

by SnapSnapEldritchBlast



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Domestic, Essek Thelyss Has Chronic Pain, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, a bit of slice of life, it gets steamy in the later chapters, very minor background BeauYasha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:22:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23335315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnapSnapEldritchBlast/pseuds/SnapSnapEldritchBlast
Summary: The Mighty Nein decide to split for 6 months to pursue various things. Caleb finds himself working with Essek and living in Xhorhas. With every month that passes, the gay wizard pining grows.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Shadowgast - Relationship
Comments: 55
Kudos: 244





	1. Wizard Date

It all started some time after Traveler Con.

With the Traveler free from his fake-god bindings, he and Jester finally were free to do a bit of plane jumping. 

Which prompted a 6 month break for the Mighty Nein.

Veth went back to be with her husband and son - using some of the money made to build their very own home, which also doubled as a store for chemistry supplies and alchemy.

Caduceus decided to return home to his family in the Blooming Grove, to finally share his stories and reconnect with them after 10 long years. Not to mention, he had some residuum shards to plant.

Beau and Yasha had the hardest time being alone, and with no home to return to, decided to stay with Fjord. The three of them sailed with Orly, running some merchant jobs, but in between jobs would travel up to Zadash and Port Damali for trips to the Cobalt Soul. 

Caleb, however, found himself studying and working with Essek in Xhorhas. 

Originally, the Mighty Nein decided that Caleb was the best person out of them to keep an eye on him (which Jester certainly wiggled her eyebrows at), but it ended up that Caleb worked _for_ Essek. There were a number of things that Essek needed researched, but didn’t have enough time in the day with his many meetings, and so many of his smaller tasks he would delegate to Caleb. Caleb certainly was more than happy to sit in the library or Essek’s study for hours every day.

This didn’t go unnoticed by the Bright Queen, either. Impressed by how much more efficient Essek was, and how his mood was boosted to have a friend around, she promoted Caleb to be his assistant. This would not only give Caleb access of the Marble Tombs Conservatory without a chaperone, but it also allowed time to work with Essek developing new spells. Additionally, he would be paid more for his work, and funding for all of his magical components needs.

One afternoon, the two wizards were having a particularly frustrating breakthrough with a spell. After 3 hours, a number of wasted materials, and another dead end, both of them were ready to pull their hair out. 

Caleb rested his head against the table they were working at – maybe a bit harder than he needed to. After a _deep_ sigh, and about 10 long seconds later, he abruptly stood up.

Essek’s eyes immediately flew up to his sudden movement, and defensively braced himself for whatever Caleb was about to do.

“Let’s get something to eat. I’m hungry.”

Essek looked at him in absolute disbelief. “ _What??_ ”

“Let’s go get food. We need to step away for a bit. And I could use a drink too.”

“We can’t go out drinking while we’re supposed to be working! You know how important my reputation and presentation is in my job, and for me personally.”

“I’ll cast seeming on us.”

“They’ll see two strangers leave my house and report them.”

“Not if we’re invisible.”

Essek sighed. There really was no swaying him. A classic stubborn Mighty Nein member. 

“Fine. Just don’t make me look stupid when you cast seeming.”

Caleb smiled. He smiled warmly, and the kind of smile that Essek didn’t want to admit he spends time thinking about. 

With a flick of his wrist and a few arcane words, both of them transformed into drow men.

Where once was a ginger Zemnian man, now stood a drow man with blue eyes, and white hair that was much shorter and styled. His jawline was softer and clean shaven, and his nose was smaller and dotted with dark purple freckles. 

He looked so dreamy it wasn’t _fair_.

Essek, looking towards a mirror, noticed he now had lilac coloured eyes, and his skin was an even darker shade of purple. His hair – now a very pale lilac – was shaved on one side, and flopped to the other side. He had beautiful and unique earrings all along his ears. 

Well, he didn’t look terrible. Certainly felt self-conscious. 

“I did not mean to make you uncomfortable with this suggestion, Essek. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“No, no. I just-“ Essek paused, and let out an exhale. “Haven’t really done this before. Or allowed myself to do this before. But it’s just a quick trip, right?” 

Caleb smiled, and squeezed his hand. 

“Just to clear our heads”

Returning his smile and squeezing Caleb’s hand, Essek cast invisibility and the two of them stealthily walked out the door. Finding a secluded alley, Essek dropped the spell and the two found a nearby restaurant.

For the next 45 minutes, being mindful of seeming’s limits, Essek had never felt so free. Within the past few weeks, they certainly had developed a certain banter and familiarity, but this extent had been quietly blooming under the surface. They laughed, shared stories, and it felt as if the rest of the world had faded away. Watching Caleb positively receive his conversation and stories caused a warmth to wash over his entire chest, to the point that it felt as though he was standing in the sun.

When would he have ever allowed someone to convince him to disguise themselves for a drink and a meal in the middle of a work day? Or allow himself to be utter enraptured by the stories of this Zemnian wizard? When was the last time he had smiled this much?

Just as quickly as Caleb had suggested this little trip, it was over already. Going back to the secluded alley with a bit of a buzz and a belly full of food, Essek cast invisibility on them and they slipped unnoticed into Essek’s home. 

Safe in his home, Essek dropped the spell and turned to see Caleb softly chuckling to himself.

“That was fun, ja?”

“Very. Maybe we should do that again sometime.”

“I would like that, Essek.”

Both of them smiled at each other, before awkwardly exhaling and looking down at the ground. Essek, feeling his face heat up, cleared his throat.

“Well. We should get back to work.”

“Right, of course.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Essek could see Caleb subtlety trying to hide his own blush.

Gods, he was even more dreamy in his normal human form.


	2. Cats and Disasters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb goes to Zadash for 4 days. Essek forgets how to function, and a mischievous cat does not make anything easier.

Essek hadn’t realized how much he had relied on Caleb until Caleb had to go to Zadash for 4 days. He knew he relied on Caleb, and was grateful for his assistance every day, but knew he would be quite competent to be on his own again. 

Incorrect.

On the first day, he almost missed one of his meetings. It was in very poor taste to keep the Dusk Captain waiting. Rushing into the Lucid Bastion, he could feel his cheeks and ears flush from embarrassment and from running. _Well,_ fast hovering; he wasn't a runner. 

“Shadowhand, it is most unlike you to not be early for a meeting.”

Dusk Captain Quana Krynn unfortunately arrived before him, but it seemed as though she only just arrived herself.

Bowing, and subtlely wiping some sweat from his brow, he replied with as steady a voice he could give.

“My deepest apologizes, Dusk Captain. I ask for your forgiveness, and by the Luxon it shall never happen again”

“It is fine, Essek. May I ask what caused your lack of punctuality today?”

Settling down into a chair in her office, he looked up to see her softly smiling and waiting expectantly.

“Ah, well. It is, um-"

“Go on.”

“My assistant is out of town at the moment, and he has a habit of announcing the time every hour, at the hour. It seems I lost track of time today without that.”

With a smirk, she quickly replied, “It seems ironic to me that a mage who specializes in magic involving time would lose track of time, no?”

Essek could feel his ears flush as soon as Quana started chuckling. Looking to the ground, he muttered,

“I’m a graviturgist, actually.”

On the second day, Essek found himself busy in his study, with piles of research he was making his way through. Engrossed in his work, he was suddenly pulled out of focus by a knock on the door.

“Come in”

Stepping into the chamber was one of Essek’s servants, looking rather meek.

“Master Shadowhand, I apologize for intruding, I know you do not like to be disturbed while you are working.”

“It is alright, what is it?”

“Forgive me if I am over-stepping, but I brought you something to eat. I noticed it has been some time since you have gone to the kitchen.”

“Ah, scheiße, thank you. I appreciate it.”

Both him and his servant paused and stared at each other, processing what he had just said.

After an awkward pause and a cough from Essek, he finally pipped up.

“Thank you for the food, that will be all. You are excused.”

As soon as the door closed, Essek’s mind started racing. How long has he been using Zemnian words without realizing? Did Caleb realize and not tell him? Did Caleb even notice? 

He’d have to ask Caleb, he thinks to himself, as his research sits forgotten.

On the third day, Essek panics and gets a cat. 

Well, he caves into the persistent insistence that he needs a familiar.

Essek has the spell, but he’s never used it before as he has never had a need for it. His mind has spontaneously convinced him that this is an _excellent idea,_ and the normally logical and rational part of his mind has been absent.

As the ritual finishes, Essek watches in suspense as a male black cat with white paws appears in front of him. He has a whimsical air to him – with very long curly whiskers, tall ears, and yellowish green eyes. His thick, fluffy fur makes his body look rounder than it is, and he sits patiently awaiting Essek’s reaction.

“Hello, little one. My name is Essek Thelyss, Shadowhand to the Bright Queen. I suppose I have to give you a name.”

The cat sits, not moving, and staring.

“Well, how about Keltz? Are you ok with being called Keltz?”

Keltz blinked a couple times and curled up as Essek slowly pet his head a few times. 

“Excellent. Well, as for my command for you…” What did Caleb tell Frumpkin? It was all telepathic, either that or those two had a psychic connection. 

“Just act like a cat, I suppose.”

And with that, Keltz jumped off the table, and began quietly sniffing around the room, investigating the new space. 

Would Essek ever admit to anyone that Keltz means “spark” in undercommon? Absolutely not.

The logical and rational part of his brain - that has been silent this whole time - would have informed him he has no idea to take care of a cat.

During his trance that night, he was interrupted many times by the sounds of loud and deep drawn out meows, little bits of paper battered around, and scratching. A cycle developed: Keltz would interrupt Essek, Essek would find Keltz and tell him to stop, and five minutes after Essek fell back into trance, Keltz would start something again. After a full hour of this, (and a few scratches) Essek put him into his other plane. 

Overcome with guilt, Essek summoned him as soon as he woke up in the morning. 

Exhausted from a very unrestful trance, he gently stretched, attempting to ease some of his morning aches. Hopefully today would not be a bad pain day, after that awful trance. He still wanted to do his best to still go about his work as efficiently as possible today. After all, Caleb was coming back tonight and he hoped to impress him with what was accomplished. 

The thought of Caleb coming back made his heart flutter and put a smile on his face. 

As he set up his work space for the day, pulling out the necessary research and books, he also made a space for Keltz – arranging a number of comfy blankets and pillows to look like a little bed. 

Naturally, Keltz slept for most of the morning after a busy night of keeping Essek awake. Getting good headway into some paperwork, Keltz woke up and hopped up onto the desk.

“Oh! Hello. Did you have a good sleep?”

Keltz responded with a short meow, and promptly lay on top of the book Essek was looking at.

“Keltz… I need that. Would you please move?”

It seems the cat had no intention of listening to Essek’s orders, as he began rolling around on the book.

_Why can’t you be like Frumpkin,_ Essek thought to himself, as he awkwardly picked his cat up off the book. Knowing very little about cats, he picked up Keltz in a way that he did not like, and he meowed and attempted to wiggle out of his grasp. 

It was inevitable that an ink vial would be spilled. 

Keltz quickly jumped off the table and scurried out of the room, leaving Essek to clean up the ink, and be reminded that he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. It wasn’t even noon and his fatigue was quickly catching up with him. 

By three in the afternoon, he found himself in an intense staring match with the cat. 

“Don’t you do it. I swear-”

Keltz was unnerved by Essek’s threats, and continued to sit with his paw in the air, directly next to a potion vial on his bookshelf.

“If you knock it down I will put you in your other plane. Do not-"

With a swift and deliberate movement, the potion vial tumbled off the shelf, and Essek snapped his cat away.

He was so tired he could cry. He knew he cast the spell correctly, but somehow he was gifted the most difficult cat of them all. Is this what some would call karma? Or was it that he simply not deserve nice things? What was he supposed to do? What would Caleb think of this? Would he be disappointed? Or perhaps he would be happy to help – he loved cats. _It’s worth a shot,_ he thought to himself as he prepared the message spell.

“Hello Caleb. When you come back to Rosohna, could you come to my place to help me with something? Sorry to bother you.”

Rather quickly, he heard Caleb’s voice reply back in his head and his heart bounced in his chest.

“Ja, of course. Is everything alright? I hope you are well… Beau says hi. Do you need… no I’m not saying that, Beau. Do you-"

Laughing at the abruptness of the message’s ending, he cast message again.

“I’m fine. It’s just something small, don’t worry yourself over it. Tell Beau I say hi back.” 

He paused, and then continued.

“I’m looking forward to seeing you.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing you too. I will be over as soon as I arrive in Rosohna this evening.” 

Just hearing his voice filled his chest with such a warmth, one only Caleb has ever brought. These few days had been rather tiring for him, and he couldn’t deny how Caleb had become such an integral part of his everyday life. Caleb had also become the best part of his day, Essek realized. Seeing the rest of the Mighty Nein was always nice, but Caleb was the one who occupied his thoughts the most. Caleb was the one who made him smile the most, and he found himself wanting to do just about anything to make him smile in return. 

He might not have a lot of experience in friendships, but he knew his feelings for Caleb were deeper. He was terrified, but here he was, pulled towards him day after day. He was terrified, as he ruminated on Caleb’s possible feelings. The thought of losing Caleb due to this scared him the most. He would dance around these feelings forever if it meant he could still be by him. 

A knock at the front door, about half an hour later, pulled him out of his thoughts.

Opening the door, he found his favourite ginger-haired human standing with a sheepish smile on his face.

“Caleb! I thought you weren’t supposed to be back for hours still!”

“Well, uh, I came early. I wanted to make sure everything was ok.”

Studying him briefly, he continued. “Why do you have ink and scratches on you face?”

“Ah! That is thanks to this little friend”

Leading Caleb into his home, he snapped of his fingers and Keltz appeared.

Caleb let out a delighted gasp, and immediately dropped to the ground to smother the cat in pets and affection.

“You finally got one! What is this sweet boy’s name?”

“His name is Keltz. And he is not sweet.”

As Essek recounted the day’s events, Caleb laughed and Essek decided it was his favourite sound.

“Why is Frumpkin so nice and Keltz is a dick?”

“Well, because Keltz does not trust you yet. A familiar won’t be as inclined to follow your commands if it does not have a connection to you. When was the last time you pet him?”

“This morning, a little,” Essek admitted quietly.

“Well no wonder! Some cats are dicks, ja, but you need to let yourself trust it and show it affection. I know you have the ability to do that.” 

Blushing at such a statement, Essek looked anywhere but Caleb’s eyes. He knelt down to join him at the floor, petting his cat behind the ears, mirroring Caleb’s movements. He couldn’t hide the massive grin across his face when Keltz began to purr. 

With a bit of a flirtatious tone, he finally quipped back.

“Well, I also don’t know very much about cats. You’ll have to teach me.”

“I would be more than happy to.”

“And it’s very difficult to handle the same work load without the help of your wonderful brain.”

“Well good thing I’m back now, ja?”

Thank the gods for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, chapter 2! I hope you like it. Fun fact, my cat is very sweet so some of these mannerisms are based on my best friend's cat. She was more than willing to give me plenty of examples, ahaha. 
> 
> I know there are a number of Essek's familiar fics out there, but I hope you liked my spin on it!
> 
> Next chapter is really going to highlight Essek's chronic pain and also have some kisses!! Stay tuned! :)


	3. Kiss it better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Essek go on a field trip and have their first kiss. Buckle up for some fluff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do mention the wizards fighting some giant spiders in this, just a trigger warning!

The moment Essek was pulled out of his trance he knew that it was going to be a bad pain day. His body and joints were stiff and heavy, and although his mind is rested, his body feels as though it hasn’t. His pointed drow ears twitch as he hears the sound of heavy rain outside. No wonder he was so sore. It is beyond frustrating to him that the weather predetermines his body’s limitations.

Essek allows himself to lie in his bed for a couple minutes longer, dreading having to move. Keltz, his familiar, who _is_ able to move about, walks into the room and jumps up beside Essek on the bed. 

“Good morning, Keltz. How are you doing this morning, hmm?”

Keltz purrs as Essek scratches him under his chin, and curls up against Essek’s side. A month ago, this would not have ever happened, but with Caleb’s help, Keltz is an obedient and charming boy – but certainly particular and still a bit of an asshole. Just like Essek, Caleb had teased.

“Will you be extra nice to me today, since I’m feeling shitty? You’re a good kitty cat.” Essek had cooed, and if anyone ever heard him speak in such a tone he would never live it down. 

“Well, I suppose we should go have breakfast. What do you think?”

Keltz lets out a happy meow in response.

With much effort, he sits up, and immediately summons his dunamantic magic. Finding some soothing and numbing balms, he applies them to his legs and ankles for temporary comfort, in addition to his daily medicinal potion that the Luxon clerics prescribed to him. Finally, he makes his way to the kitchen, with a meowing Keltz at his heels.

It was particularly frustrating that today of all days was an achy and rainy day. He and Caleb were tasked with travelling to the Vermaloc Wildwood, to collect some unique materials to be possibly used in a new spell, and to also quickly check in with one of Professor Waccoh’s experiments there. They both had been looking forward to the bit of adventure, Caleb especially.

Caleb wouldn’t be awake for another four hours, which gave Essek plenty of time to gather whatever they will need for travelling and to get a bit of work done. 

Precisely four hours and fifteen minutes later, Essek messaged Caleb.

“Good morning Caleb, sorry if I have awoken you. How much time do you need to get ready? …Keltz says hello.”

There is a brief pause before he hears a yawn, and a heavily Zemnian accented voice. “Ja, hallo Essek. It is alright. Give me twenty minutes, bitte. Frumpkin and I send pets to Keltz.”

True to his word, Essek arrived at the Xhorhaus twenty minutes later, and Caleb was ready. 

“It’s a shame we have to teleport. It’s been so long since I’ve been on the road travelling.” Caleb commented, watching Essek prepare the teleportation spell. 

“Hmm, I would have liked to as well. Unfortunately, our work load and schedule aren’t going to allow us to take a few days away. Maybe some time, though.”

“I’d like that. The only place to rent moorbounders is way out in Asarius, too. You have to meet that guy, he liked that my name rhymed with his.”

“What was his name?”

“Zorth, I believe.”

Essek had the most confused, yet amused smile on his face. “I really want to know the rest of this story.”

With that, he finished the spell and they found themselves in the Vermaloc Wildwood.

The woods were beautiful and serene. The red leaves were dense above them, but the blue sky and sunlight above them was still visible. It was a welcome sight, after so long in Rosohna. _Thankfully it isn’t raining here,_ Essek thought to himself.

There was a certain stillness in the woods – the city was never quiet, and with so many drows needing less sleep, the “night” was rarely quiet. The Xhorhaus and Essek’s tower were relatively silent, but the woods were peaceful and alive at the same time. It was a strange juxtaposition that nature supplied. It was very welcome and refreshing.

Caleb took a deep inhale of the fresh air and looked up at the sky. Essek couldn’t help notice how comfortable he was in this setting.

“I have missed this.”

“It is nice, I have to agree.”

“Should we get started looking for the components? And make our way slowly over to Waccoh’s experiment?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

They spent the better part of the day wandering through the woods, finding what they needed, but their successful trip had been interrupted by a number of giant spiders, mutated with Waccoh’s experiment. Neither the beasts nor the wizards were happy to see the other. 

Which is how Essek found himself sat on the ground, with Caleb cleaning Essek’s various gashes, and a number of dead giant spiders about thirty feet away. 

“I would’ve brought more offensive spells if I had known we were going to be getting in a fight.”

Caleb hummed in affirmation. “I’ve made that mistake before. You were quite impressive, though”

“Thank you. I’m grateful for the spells you chose for today.”

About thirty seconds of comfortable silence fell between them, until Caleb piped up. “Well, I’m no Caduceus or Jester, but I think I did an ok job patching you up.”

“Thank you,” Essek replied, standing up with Caleb’s help.

Looking over the dead spiders, Essek pulled out a journal and began to take notes. “These spiders were much stronger than usual. They’re certainly mutated. I’m willing to bet that Waccoh’s experiment had caused this.”

“Do you think it’s possible that some sort of chemical or magic leaked out of the main structure of it? That would explain the inconsistent readings she’s been receiving.”

“It’s certainly possible.”

“Let’s investigate, ja?”

After a couple of hours of theorizing, investigating, and messaging Professor Waccoh, they were satisfied with the notes they complied.

“I was thinking…” Caleb started, prompting Essek to look up from the rations they had taken with them.

“Yes?”

“We should camp out here tonight. I’m curious if more of the spiders are going to return in the morning. Perhaps we should camp out fifty or so feet away and keep an eye.”

“Hmm, that might be wise to make sure the situation is taken care of before we leave.”

“I’ll start setting up the dome. I had it prepared today, just in case.”

As soon as the dome is up, the familiars are summoned, and they excitedly begin to play in the grass - Frumpkin has missed it, and Keltz has never experienced it before.

“Caleb, if we are staying here for the evening, could you, uh, help me with something?”

Caleb looked up, curious to see Essek looking rather sheepish.

“Of course, what do you need?”

Essek, unable to make eye contact with Caleb, pulled back his cloak to reveal metallic braces on his knees, ankles, and the bottom of his shins.

“I, well… struggle with chronic pain.” Essek started, slowly. “Today was particularly a tougher day, and I made sure to put these on since we were going to be out travelling. And I-I uh, would appreciate some help taking off the leg braces since my hands are rather stiff.”

Essek finally looked up meekly to see Caleb staring at him in quiet surprise. 

“I had no idea, you have hid it so well this whole time.”

“Yes, well, I don’t like to talk about it. Very few people know.”

Caleb moved forward and sat next to him gently, and even more gently began to help Essek undo the various bindings.

“I’m so sorry I did not notice. You have been dealing with this the whole time, and I-”

“Caleb, it’s fine. I didn’t tell you. I’m not in this much pain every day, it’s a bit hard to predict. You’re not at fault.” 

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this though.”

“It’s just the way it is”

Caleb stayed silent while they took off the rest of the braces.

“Thank you-”

“Where else are you hurting? You mentioned your hands?” Caleb interrupted, flustered.

Essek replied slowly and cautiously, “yes, my knuckles and joints in my hands have been sore today.”

Caleb very softly took Essek’s hands, and kissed the knuckles.

Essek felt himself freeze and gasp. No one had ever shown him such care or such gentleness. All his life, he was told that in his next life, things would be better. That in the next life, he would be one step closer to achieving perfection. His pain was always dismissed, and quietly dealt with in the shadows. Just like many other parts of him. He perfected hiding his “weakness”, and even those who knew often forgot that he dealt with this every day. It was invisible to everyone, and that’s how life was.

And here Caleb was, unabashedly, showing him care that he did not realize he craved his whole life.

He could feel his face blush, all the way up to his ears, and blushed even harder when he noticed Caleb’s pink cheeks.

“Does the rest of your arm hurt too?”

Essek nodded, even though his legs ached more. He was nowhere near ready or comfortable for him to touch his legs like that yet. 

Caleb planted the softest of kisses on his elbows, and then to his shoulders.

Essek shivered.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No,” he breathed, and he found himself unable to pull his eyes away from Caleb.

He felt like his chest was going to burst. He was so overwhelmed, but in the best way possible. His heart was racing, but his mind was blank. He felt warm all over, and he wondered if Caleb could feel it radiating off of him. He couldn’t pull away from him, and every part of him wanted to move closer. 

Caleb, at this point, was sitting right in front of him, watching as Essek’s eyes met his, then flittered down to his lips. 

It took little effort for their lips to meet.

It was gentle and sweet, the softness of the moment and their lips was intoxicating. Essek felt impossibly warm, pressed against Caleb and from his own heart bursting out of his chest and thrumming with happiness. 

All too soon, they pulled apart. Caleb decided that a blushing Essek with eyes twinkling was his new favourite sight.

“That was even better than I had imagined it would be.” Caleb admitted, with a smile growing across his face.

Essek chuckled. “You imagined it? How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Longer than I’d like to admit.”

Essek pulled Caleb closer to him, and rested one hand on his chest, the other holding onto Caleb’s coat. Smiling, he mumbled against his lips. 

“Same.”

And Essek pulled him into another kiss, more sure of himself. Caleb wrapped his arms around Essek’s waist, as their mouths moved together naturally. It was addictive, kissing Essek. His entire body was buzzing, and time felt like it stopped around him as his mind slowed and only became aware of Essek. In this moment, it was just the two of them and this thrill, and time halted to everything else. _A prodigy indeed._

“We should probably not rush… this,” Essek admitted, when they needed to part to breathe.

“Ja. I think so too.”

Their eyes locked, and they both laughed. They laughed out of relief, out of happiness, and out of the entire situation of it all. 

“I can’t believe you tried to kiss my joints better. You’re very cute.”

“Ja, but did it work?” Caleb grinned.

“Well-” Essek paused. “In a way.”

There were many more kisses before they ended up falling asleep rather comfortably with their cats in the dome. 

(No spiders showed up the next morning.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Essek have reached month 3 of the 6 month break! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, dear reader! I have really appreciated all the comments and kudos so far, thank you so much! ♥
> 
> I know that the kissing it better trope is so cheesy and used often, but it makes me weak and I love it every time. Next chapter: Beau is a master at detecting gay tension. 
> 
> Hope you are healthy and well!


	4. Master of Gay Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the Mighty Nein come to visit Caleb and Essek in Xhorhas. With everyone around, Caleb can't get a minute alone with Essek, and Beau is suspicious.

“So, tomorrow is the day you are picking up Beauregard?” Essek commented almost distractedly, as his eyes following the spines of tomes on his bookshelf with intent. 

Caleb, who was engrossed with his own papers, replied “Ja, and Fjord and Yasha too. I believe they are staying for a few days.”

At this, Essek looked up. “Oh, really? I did not realize the others would be joining Beau as well. I suppose I will prepare myself for more chaos than I was expecting.”

Caleb let out a soft chuckle. “I am looking forward to seeing them again. It’s been some time.”

“Me as well.” Essek paused. “Do you want them to know about, uh… us? Together?”

“Ah, not yet. I think it’s better if we try and keep it more secretive.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. It’s safer that way – there are a number of people who will use our relationship against us”

Caleb let out an affirmative hum, and continued studying his papers.

It was very surprising to be met with silence when he arrived at the teleportation circle in Zadash. Normally, at least Beau would be waiting just outside the circle to greet Caleb, with the others following not too far behind. The quiet was unsettling. Opening the door to the rest of the archive outside of the circle, Caleb instead found himself greeted by Archivist Zeenoth.

“Oh, Caleb, hello. Your friends are right outside of the archive, let me guide you to them.”

“They are outside? Why?”

“Oh, I’m sure they will tell you all about it.” Zeenoth replied, with a fake smile masking a deeply pained expression. 

It did not take long for Zeenoth to lead Caleb out the door towards his companions, who were sitting on the outside steps sulking. With a short and respectful nod, he quickly turned and headed back into the archive without saying another word.

“CALEB!!!” Beau cheered from the ground, raising her hands up in celebration. Another voice, halfling, was quick to join in the cheers.

“Veth! What a surprise!” He paused, giving her a quick hug. “What the fuck happened?”

“We got kicked out again,” Fjord grumbled and gesturing towards Veth continued, “Thanks to this one.”

“Hey! It was a collective effort!”

“I think it was mostly my fault, actually.” Yasha piped up.

Caleb ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Ja, but what actually _happened?_ ”

Veth took Caleb’s hand in hers, and started to lead Caleb and the others away from the archive. “Well, it started when I saw someone that _looked_ like you, and I thought it was you so I jumped them. Yasha thought I was getting in a fight, so she drew her sword-”

“Which did not go over well with uh… Yasha’s history,” Beau chimed in.

“Exactly. So Beau tried to break it up, and accidentally punched a guard in the process.”

Caleb sighed. “I have been on the receiving end of those. Fjord, what did you do?”

Fjord stared up at the sky, in an attempt to avoid eye contact with everyone.

“I disguised myself as Dairon hoping that everyone would listen to them more than us. Was fine until the real Dairon showed up.”

Caleb sighed for what felt like the 50th time that morning. “Well, we better get to Rosohna right away then. It’s good to see all of you again, regardless.” 

Beau lightly punched his arm. “Good news though! We’re only banned for a week!”

Caleb laughed. It had been awhile since he had seen them, and it was nice to have their conversations fall so naturally again. As he drew the teleportation circle on the ground of an abandoned alley, he listened to their chatter and light-hearted arguments. It all felt like second nature, and Caleb was reminded of the many, many times they had done this before. He wished he could savour this moment, but he knew they needed to leave as soon as possible.

“Alright, hop in!”

“Aw shit, we forgot to message - !”

With a flash, the present members of the Mighty Nein found themselves in the familiar elegant halls of the Lucid Bastion, expecting hostility for their sudden entrance. 

“Our apologies!” Caleb said, raising his hands in defeat. “We forgot to message about our arrival again.”

“The Shadowhand anticipated this and messaged us just recently, not to worry Mr. Widogast.” One of the guards replied, with a professional yet warm smile.

“Excellent. We’ll be sure to give him our thanks.” Caleb said, and began to lead the others out of the building towards Essek’s tower. Finally reaching the front gates, Caleb pulled out his copper wire to let Essek know they arrived, as Beau was already knocking at the front door incessantly. It did not take long for Essek to arrive at the door.

“Hello, everyone. Oh, Veth! What a surprise. Good to see you as well. Please, come inside. I prepared breakfast for you all.”

Sure enough, in the time Caleb had left to go pick them up and come back, Essek had set up the sitting room with a modest breakfast spread of pastries, bread, cheese, and what appeared to be either coffee or tea. Naturally, the Mighty Nein were eager to have some food and each found a comfortable position around the table.

“I hope this is fine. I’m not sure what you like, but I know these treats are Caleb’s favourite so I hope you like them as well.”

“Thank you, Essek.” Caleb said with a slight blush to his face. “And thank you as well for alerting the guards of our arrival.”

Essek smiled. “You are most welcome, I know that you do not often remind them. It seems as though I was right in making that assumption again?”

“Yeah, without Jester we didn’t have any way of alerting them, actually.” Fjord replied, politely trying to hide the fact that he was talking with his mouth full of food.

“Ja, she is still with the Traveler. But how did you come to join us here, Veth?”

“Oh! Well they picked me up when they docked into Nicodranas, and we all headed up to Zadash!”

“Caduceus was too far to the north, we wouldn’t have been able to make it up there and then down to Zadash in time for the day you knew to come get us.” Beau spoke up. She had been suspiciously quiet, with her eyes intently looking at Caleb, than back to Essek. 

“Next time, hopefully.” Yasha quietly said, next to Beau.

There was a bit of a natural pause that fell amongst the group after that, until Caleb cleared his throat. 

“Well, tell me what you have been up to!”

After about an hour or so of sharing stories, talking over each other, and laughter, Essek stood up. It was nice to see Caleb’s friends - _their friends_ \- again, and it was remarkable that they were able to converse so easily despite having little communication over the past four months. It was as if they had spent no time apart. 

“Well, I do have work to do. You’re welcome to stay for a while longer of course, but I-”

Caleb interrupted him, jumping up. “Professor Waccoh wanted me to write that report by tomorrow! And we still need to finish finalizing that spell! And-”

“Caleb, it is fine. I can finish the spell, and your report is almost finished anyway. You can give it to her tomorrow afternoon or evening. Take the day off with your friends.” Essek smiled and waved Caleb off. 

“I think we wanted to go in the hot tub for awhile, you can stay and work if you’d like, Caleb. It’s ok.” Yasha said softly.

Caleb paused, thinking over his options. “I will take some work back to the Xhorhaus with me. Let me go grab it from the study.” Essek followed him upstairs.

“Are you sure I can take the rest of today off? You’ll be ok?”

“Yes, Caleb. And if they are here for a week, one day off really does not put us behind schedule.” Essek stood behind Caleb, wrapping his arms around his waist and placing delicate kisses on his shoulder.

“Ha, I thought I was supposed to be leaving.” Caleb turned around in Essek’s arms, letting out a soft chuckle and giving him a light kiss on his lips.

“Hmm, I suppose you are…” Essek replied against his lips, and kissed him again, but abruptly pulled away and stepped back after a few seconds. “Beau is coming”

“Hey guys!” Beau looked at them both, reading the room. “Am I interrupting anything?”

“No not at all,” Caleb replied quickly. “Are you ready to go?”

“I’ll see you out, then.” Essek quietly spoke, desperately hoping his blush wasn’t visible on his dark purple skin.

Caleb was getting increasingly irritated with his inability to get Essek alone for the next few days. They were not horny teenagers, but he would like to see his boyfriend without a third wheel, or kiss him for more than five seconds without being interrupted. Whenever he would go to Essek’s, someone always wanted to accompany him. Veth wanted to see their study space and was able to help out with a few spells, Yasha wanted to check in with how Essek was doing, and Beau and Fjord are always curious. Even when he _could_ steal a few kisses, Fjord wanted to see what kind of spells they were working on, Beau and Yasha came in looking for books, and Veth was being very motherly and asking when the last time they had a snack. He loved their friends, but was regularly reminded of the sense of privacy that he had grown used to over the past four months. He really did love his friends, and missed them, but he just wanted _one_ moment alone. 

Near the end of the week in the Xhorhaus after breakfast, Beau pulled Caleb aside.

“Hey man. I’m gonna cut right to it. What’s going on with you and Essek?”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Caleb replied, feeling suddenly sweaty. “We have been working together for the past four months and I am employed by the Bright Queen and Professor Waccoh.”

“Don’t give me that shit. You say you’re _working together_ -” Beau gestured with air quotations, “but this house looks like it doesn’t get used enough for someone who has been living here for four months.”

“This house is used to seeing seven or more in here Beau, and I never made the biggest messes.”

“Plus Essek knew your favourite pastries, you keep trying to get him alone and pretend you’re not annoyed when you two get interrupted, and there is some serious gay tension and blushing with you two.”

Caleb was very quiet. “I think you’re reading too much into it.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me man, I can punch the truth out of you.”

Caleb sighed. “What do you want me to say, Beauregard.”

“Look, as a master of gay tension-”

“And how is Fjord dealing with that on the boat all day with you and Yasha?”

“ _Look_ , I’m just saying that you should make a move.”

Caleb got uncomfortably quiet.

“Oh my GOD, you did already, didn’t you??" 

Caleb took a step closer to Beau, and hissed quietly, “There are a lot of people who would use our relationship against us. It has to stay a secret.” 

Beau’s posture slumped, her face shifting from intensive to soft empathy. Reaching out, she rested a hand on his shoulder. “That sucks. I’m sorry.” She paused, looking into his eyes as if she was looking for something. "Lemme guess, you feel guilty about being happy, don’t you?”

Caleb stopped. That was a question, wasn’t it? Happiness was an uncommon emotion for him, but these past few months have been good to him. He certainly had his bad days, and Essek did not ‘fix him’, but he has helped to make the darker voices in his head less… present. Just like with the Mighty Nein, being with Essek helped him to be better – he _wanted_ to be better for them. But Essek caused his heart to flutter in a way that has not happened in a very long time. 

“He actually makes those voices less loud when I’m with him. He makes me… happy. I really do like him. A lot.”

“Good!”

Caleb and Beau whipped around to see Veth, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

“Scheiße, Veth! Have you been here the whole time?”

“You two talk so loudly! We can all hear you!”

Yasha awkwardly poked her head in from around the corner of the doorframe. “I’m here because I wanted to see where Veth went”

“Yasha??”

Fjord sheepishly followed Yasha, and awkwardly waved. “And I’m here because I didn’t want to sit in the kitchen all by myself.”

“And I’m assuming you three heard everything?” Beau crossed her arms, giving a half-hearted glare.

“Pretty much, yeah. But I’m glad we did because I want to add some things.” Veth moved into the room, and pointed a finger at Caleb. “Caleb, don’t forget: you and Essek are allowed to be happy. You both want to leave the world better than you found it, right? Together? Well the world is allowed to leave you better too.”

Yasha nodded. “It’s not too late for the two of you. I’m very happy for you and Essek.”

“Yeah. And wanting to keep your safety is important, I agree with that.” Fjord continued, “One day you won’t have to keep it a secret anymore.”

“But if he doesn’t treat you right I’m gonna slit his fucking neck!” Veth screeched. Yasha, Beau, and Fjord all gave various affirmations in response. 

Before Caleb could find the words to express his gratitude, they were interrupted by a knock at the door who revealed to be none other than Essek.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“No, this is perfect.” Veth said, “We’re having a family meeting to interrogate Caleb. Are you treating him right?”

Essek looked very confused. Noticing the deep blush on Caleb’s face and his overwhelmed state, he had an idea of what they were getting at.

“I do not wish to hurt him and I no intention of doing so. I would confess to all my crimes if it meant keeping Caleb safe.”

“Well I would personally hunt you down before that would happen” Yasha said, looking down at Essek with intensity. Essek could feel the back of his neck heat up and become sweaty. He hoped that he was looking somewhat composed, but she probably could see through it. Yasha’s face softened as she asked the next question, “Are you happy? Does he make you happy?”

“I did not think it was possible to experience happiness like this.”

Beau looked sternly at Essek with her arms crossed. “Are you using him to further your own research?”

“Beauregard!” Caleb looked appalled.

“No.” Essek answered calmly. “It’s true that I would not have gotten nearly as far these past four months without Caleb. However, we work together on research as equals. We’re a… team. Partners.” 

“Well, I’m satisfied with those answers. But you do not get the fully Mighty Nein approval as Jester and Caduceus are not present. But let’s be honest, they probably would approve.” Veth gave him a bright smile, and he was half expecting to see goblin teeth.

“We’re actually going to get some last minute shopping before we leave tomorrow. We’ll be gone for 45 minutes? ” Fjord said, giving a pointed look at the others as he made his way towards the door.

On their way out, each one of them gave Essek a smile, and either a hug, a punch to the arm, or a pat on the shoulder. They quickly closed the door, and the Xhorhaus was filled with silence. 

Caleb and Essek paused, staring at each other. “I’m sorry about them, I can explain.”

Essek shook his head, and silenced him with a kiss. It was a kiss that had been waiting for days, and Caleb’s tense body sighed into it. Everything felt so _right_ in their embrace.

“A happiness you did not think was possible, ja?” Caleb murmured against his lips, resting his forehead against Essek’s. “I think I understand that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this chapter really ran away from me! I think this is the longest chapter yet. I've been worried that I have been writing Caleb ooc, and I realized it wasn't introspectively sad enough. Hope I managed to channel that while still keeping this a more light-hearted story - let me know your feedback! 
> 
> The next chapter is the smutty one, I will probably have to bump up the rating! Hopefully I can have it finished and posted soon. In the meantime, I hope you are healthy and safe (or as much as you can be). CR will be back before we know it! ♥

**Author's Note:**

> I've been planning this series for awhile - here we go! I hope you like it, dear reader! I might add more tags as I keep writing. The mature rating is almost entirely due to chapter 5. 
> 
> I will always write Essek with chronic pain. It might not be a main focus every chapter, but it's there! Which makes sense, because it's often invisible to most people. 
> 
> Stay safe and be kind! :)


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